Please, don't you turn out to be a maniac too, I think to myself while making sure I didn't say it out loud.

Not you too, I pursue the thought further, looking over at my partner of eight years, wife of three, and mother of our now 3 week old child. Everyone else I've ever dated, slept with, hugged, or otherwise had a relationship with has turned into a maniac so it only makes sense.

"Screw off. Why are you looking at me like that?" Does she know? Maniacs don't know they're maniacs. They're not conspiring to cover up their insane ways, they just can't see them.

I used to think the world was full of maniacs and non-maniacs. I now know we're all maniacs. It's all just shades of grey.

We gravitate towards people at similar levels of maniacness. We call people more nuts than us maniacs and people less nuts than us boring and lame. You can never be sure how much of a maniac you are yourself. The only way to judge is to look at the people that have flocked to you over the years and stuck around.

"Forget her, she's nuts, last time I was out with her she..."

"Forget him, don't bother, he's socially inept and thinks I'm nuts."

That's the weening process. We don't feel comfortable hanging around people that are significantly more sane than us or a lot crazier. It makes it harder to comprehend and order our worlds.

It makes me think of Ryan. I don't get to spend much time with him these days. He just doesn't get invites from our crowd. They think he's a maniac and talks nonesense. They won't tolerate him. Ok, so maybe Ryan does talk shit some of the time but it's only nonesense when spoken to the right crowd, or the wrong crowd I guess.

I'm realizing how this process can drain the life out of your circle of friends, a borification if I'm permitted to make up words. Before you realize it you've filtered your realm of influence and entertainment down to a single shade of grey. You snub your nose at people rumbling nonesense on the outskirts of your tightknit, well protected ring of friends. No maniacs allowed.